The Holy Spirit
by Newsweetcatygirl
Summary: Living life with the trials and tribulations that have been given to you can be difficult. This is true for the past, the present, and the future. Bella will begin to recognize the significance of everything around her. This will be a journey of discovery for everyone...but what will happen when certain things come to life?
1. The Beginning

_Preface:_

_I used to take comfort in my local parish, but now I find myself running not only from the congregation that had once welcomed me as one of their flock; but the shepherd that had led us all in prayer to the Lord I love. Now I am being told that the God I have prayed to, feared, and worshiped wishes to burn me to the darkest depths of hell. I try to ignore the pain and forget the painful memories of being hunted as a witch._

'_Keep your eyes ahead Marie, the woods are your only salvation'. I try to follow the advice of my Savior but it is difficult resisting the urge to turn my head towards the voices cursing my name and yelling for me to come back and face my punishment. Without the Town Doctor hiding me in the delivery room while he was helping a local woman, the men would have carried me off to the closest tree and hanged me. It seems men would not step into the delivery room even if a witch was in it. If it were not for his quick thinking of sneaking out the storm cellar I would merely be holding off my inevitable demise. At least now I have a chance._

_I am mere feet away from the first tree when I am tackled to the ground. A potato sack is now covering my eyes with a small bit of rope tightened around my neck, perhaps as a warning of what's to come. I have been captured and every step I have taken to avoid it has all been for naught. As I had predicted I feel myself being dragged to the very tree that not even a minute ago had been a symbol of hope and freedom. I hear the noose being strung up and the whispers of people waiting to watch my execution. They are no longer the flock I have worshiped with, but the mob that will deliver me to the hands of my God. Soon all noise has stopped and I feel as though time has stood still, until I feel a hand at the top of my head._

_With one flick of the wrist my vision is renewed only to see the hateful looks of every onlooker. I turn my head and see my shepherd, the pastor that has presided over this colony for the last two years. He looks into my eyes and all I see is evil intent. I feel as though I am looking into the eyes of Satan himself. "You have been tried and found to be guilty of the crime of witchcraft. You have committed many acts in the Satan's name, by doing his deeds and carrying his evil spawn. As it is said in the scriptures, 'Thou shall not suffer a witch to live'. In the name of the Lord I banish you to death. Do you wish to repent your sins ask for forgiveness."_

_He then leans in, closer to my ear and whispers to me as the snake surely did to Eve in her darkest hour, "If you had not tempted me so or refused my advances and courting as aggressively as you had, perhaps you would not be carrying Satan's spawn in your womb. For surely the creature growing in you is not mine. If only you had not been a whore." I realized then that no matter what I did at this point, it would not help me to survive in this world. I turned to the man that I had trusted. The man that had destroyed my trust and faith in men after taking what is most precious to all women, my purity and innocence. In an act of anger I spit in his eye, putting all of my anger into it as I could._

_He was shocked, but overcame it a moment later. "You have refused to repent your sins and will be punished by spending the rest of your eternal life burning in hell." As he said this I was raised onto a stool, the noose being wrapped around my neck. As my executioner was tying my hands together I looked out into the crowd and found the Doctor who had risked everything to save me. His eyes were filled with guilt, sadness and absolute defeat. He knew that it would be impossible to save me, and I would not wish for him to risk himself to save someone who is beyond such help._

_Soon I was once again blinded to everything, except for the inside of the sack that was once again pulled over my head. I closed my eyes and attempted to shut out the world around me and began to pray for my eternal salvation, as I already accepted the end of my life on earth. Suddenly it seemed as though the world around me had begun to slow down. I felt a presence around me, a feeling of being engulfed by a warm sensation. Then the wind began to pick up. For some reason I had begun to think I might have the ability to live a long life on earth with love and acceptance. As I was growing accustomed to the feeling I could feel the stool under my feet be pushed out from under me. As I prepared for the tugging at my throat I was shocked when instead of hanging I feel to the ground. The ropes around my neck had been torn, as the ones on my wrist were. I removed the potato sack and was happy to see the stunned faces of the mob around me. I began thanking God for saving me and giving me such a miracle, but then a circle of fire began to surround me, blocking me from towns' people. I found that I was able to escape to the woods through an opening in the fire and I took it._

_I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, while still being restricted by the dress that surrounded them. I ran as though the Devil himself were chasing me. I had looked behind me to see if I had been followed but when I turned back around I tripped on a stray branch. I pushed myself off the ground and instinctually covered by growing stomach with my hands, hoping that my baby would survive my fall. I looked up from where I was and saw a woman standing before me._

_Her appearance had me reeling, as I had never seen anyone that looked like her before. With her darker complection, her black hair lying in braids on her back, and her overall strange attire I was surprised at how comfortable I was around her. She stared at me for a moment, and then began to walk towards a light that was showing through the trees. I had begun to think I had died in the fire and this was an angel leading me to my fate, whether it be heaven or hell. I followed my instincts and walked towards the same light that the woman had disappeared into. Slowly the light had grown and eventually I found myself in the middle of a clearing. It made me believe that I had been saved and gone to heaven. I fell to my knees in relief and praised God for his loving and forgiving nature. I heard a noise in front of me looking up and again meeting the eyes of a stranger, who not only held the same traits as the woman before but had another attribute that had me shaking in fear._

_It was a man tall in stature with large frame. When he first looked at me he seemed lost and confused as to why he was there. But as our eyes had met his expression changed to one of unconditional love. The only time I had seen an expression similar to this was on the faces of mother's who first gazed upon their newborn children. The same warm feeling entered my body, and as much as I wanted to embrace the feeling, my fear of men took over and I started to scoot way from the man that had begun to fall closer to the ground in an attempt to be closer to me. His eyes flashed with anger and the next thing I knew I was swept up in his arms, being carried as a child would by its mother. I tried to escape his hold on me but he only held me closer. "Stop! We are going home". I know longer felt the desire to fight him, and soon fell asleep to the warmth of his body and the sound of his heartbeat._


	2. Shadow of Death

**Hello Everyone! I swear after receiving my first review I was so happy that I almost cried! Like I've said on my profile, this is very therapeutic that helps me cope with my depression and the stress that I get from my job everyday. Most of the experiences that you read about will be from my life. I know that everyone is begging for people to review but please! *lol* Email me or review - I love hearing advice, and fan fiction recommendations. And I know that a lot of people don't like reviewing, but can you follow and favorite my story! It only takes a few clicks.**

**Also, I have no rights to Twilight - They are owned by the talented ****Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 1:

I originally wanted to work nights at the nursing home because I believed that it would be the slow shift. You would think that with everyone sleeping everything would be quiet. I was even under the impression that I might be able to squeeze in some time to do my homework. What a fool I was! A dramatic reaction perhaps but being a nursing assistant tends to make you a little bitter after a while. The long hours, little pay, and high stress is exhausting.

This is definitely not a career that I saw myself going into. But when I tested out of high school and began taking college courses I needed to get a job with little training, good job prospects and a good paying salary. At the end of the day there weren't many good job prospects for a sixteen year old, so when I started here I knew it was the best I was gonna get at this point. I remember everyone asking me why I made the decisions I did, but with my mom living the life that she does, someone had to be the responsible one.

She has been addicted to drugs and participated in prostitution ever since I was twelve years old. It all started when she was working part time at the strip club to make some extra money. First she was a waitress, then she became a dancer. After that she would be asked to do some "private showings", which then lead to prostitution - and with the help of her pimp she started taking and selling drugs. At this point there is nothing I can do but make sure her bills are paid, there is food in the fridge and that she is still alive every day when I go to check on her. But what can I do about that now? All I can do is focus on my work and hope that it works as a good enough distraction. Maybe it's a good thing that we're always so busy.

In the last two hours I have taken five people to the bathroom, two on the bedpan, dealt with one schizophrenic patient who ranting to me for almost half an hour because she was upset that Ronald McDonald did not deliver some big mac's to her room! Ugh! Not to mention trying to keep them corralled in the building. A man just tried to escape out the window a few minutes ago. Can't I get a few minutes to myself.

"Bella could you please come to 212, I need help putting her on the bedpan". Of course, now the nurse is calling on the radio, and it reminds me that I have to do rounds soon. "I'm coming Susan".

As I'm on my way to 212 I see one of the residents as she is walking towards the emergency exit. I know the nurse will be upset if I'm not there soon so I call to warn her I might be late, "It might be a few minutes Susan". As I intercept her I see that it is Helen. I'm try to reach her before she sets off the alarms, "Hi Helen! How are you"? She looks over her shoulder at me and smiles. "Hi Granddaughter", and before I know it she is shuffling her feet towards me and is pulling me into a hug. "Helen, do you mind if I walk you to your room. I would love to wish you goodnight". With so many residents in a certain facility there are a lot of names to remember, personalities to please, and the occasional curse words and punches to the face to receive - not fun! With Helen, she always seems so happy. She always brings a smile to my face. So even though I have perfected the fake smiles and polite responses I never have to do that with Helen. Every time I see her I'm so genuinely happy that I can't help to smile.

"I would like that very much dear. Just make sure you don't stay up too late. I hope I didn't wake you up. You have a bed here to sleep in don't you"?

I always thought it was funny that the residents actually believed that we were sleeping.

"That's OK Helen. Let's just get back to your room". On our way there I see something out of the corner of my eye. It looks like the shadow of a large man. I turn to look but all I see is an empty hallway. I wish that I would stop seeing things that no one else does, or hearing things that no one else can hear. I always have this weird feeling whenever it happens, but I always blame it on the fear of spiraling into madness.

"Here is your room Helen. Is there anything you need before you go to bed"? She turns around to answer me and instead of the smile that she is usually wearing I see a serious expression cross her face.

"You have taken care of me for a long time. You have never treated me like I was an invalid. You treated me better than I ever had been before. Things will happen in your life that will confuse you, but remember that you are not alone. There will always be someone there to help you".

I have seen Helen at a point in her life when she couldn't remember her own name and thought that there were people sleeping in her closet. She spoke with such conviction, but at the same time it was the most confusing thing she has ever told me. A second later I see her face relax and the friendly expression return to her face.

"I would like some water please". She smiles at me and turns to walk into her room. It wasn't a difficult request considering the water fountain is right next to her room. As I walk back to her room I try and calculate in my head how long it will take to help her to bed and then go to 212 but when I step into the room it seems that my planning was unnecessary. I see her lying in bed but it looks like she has been sleeping there for hours. And after staring at here for a few moments, I realize she is not breathing. I check her pulse and I can't find one. How did this happen?

"Bella! What is taking so long"? I know that she is upset but it takes me a minute before I can answer her. "I need you in 208. A resident has passed away".

* * *

As I listen to Susan typing up her reports and charting on Helen's death I continue to have this awful feeling. I feel like there is something lying on my chest and it is slowly getting harder and harder to breath. Suddenly the phone rings which jerks me back to the world around me, but the feeling in my chest seems to be experiencing even more pressure. What is going on?

"Bella. Honey, a state trooper just called and said that your mom got in a car accident. I'm sorry honey but she didn't make it. I'll have one of the on-call girls come in to replace you".

As she gets on the phone all I can do is focus on breathing, until Helen's last words to me come to mind. Everything that she told me seems to be happening right now. How could this happen? How did she know?


	3. Blessed are those who mourn

**Forgive me if the story seems to be going slow, but it will pick up speed in the next chapter. I'm just trying to 'set the scene' so to speak before I get into the fun things ;)**

**Happy reading :)**

Chapter 2:

Going through my mother's belongings was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Her clothes still had the smell of smoke and strawberries -my moms favorite shampoo. The furniture has been sold, the last of the bills paid, and after putting all of her worldly possessions in my trunk the only thing left is to do a final sweep of the place. Every room holds a memory. Every nick, every beer stain...what am I going to do? I look around and I see I haven't missed anything. I shut the door, hand the key to the landlord and drive to the motel a few blocks over. I'll figure out what I'm going to do from there.

Sitting on a dirty motel mattress is definitely never where I saw my life heading. If the thought ever did enter my mind though, it was because I had finally sunk low enough to sell my body to make up for my mothers bad habits. Well, at least I can say I never did any dealings in dirty motels. I guess this whole experience has taught me this at least; never expect anything to go as you planned it. Life has a way of putting a wrench in that plan.

The only thing I have with me is a locked box I found in my mothers closet and my purse. On my way up to my room I saw a janitor with a pair of bolt cutters. While his back was turned I had swiped them from the cart he was pushing and quickly made my way to the motel room door.

I look at the box now with determined and confused eyes. I saw the bolt cutters as a sign to let go of my fears and open it. I knew it had to be something she didn't want me to see. Why else would she lock it up. She leaves almost everything out in the open for me to see, drugs included. What could be so important.

I was worried that it wouldn't be as easy to cut the locks as they made it seem on Tv. So I was surprised when the lock easily broke off the latch. I guess I was stronger than I looked. I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my face, but it seems reality felt the strong need to put me in my place.

As I cut the locks the force of it propelled the box right off my lap and right on to my already twice stubbed toe. First tripping on my way out of the apartment, then falling up the stairs in my attempt to flee the janitor and now this. I'm such a wreck.

With the contents of the box spilled mouton the floor I was met with shock and even more confusion. My grandmothers necklace! The same necklace I thought mom sold for cocaine. I couldn't believe my eyes. It only took me a second before I grabbed it and put it around my neck. This is definitely a miracle that I needed today. Then I saw a bag of marijuana and ecstasy - sadly that was not a surprise. Next was a big role of hundred dollar bills!

I can't even imagine the amount that it is. I promise my self I will count it later so that I can get a better look at the rest of the contents. That is where it gets confusing. Its a stack of letters. The one on top doesn't have an address so I look through the rest of them and find they all only have one name. Charlie Swan. Forks, Washington.

Why did dad write so many letters to mom. The only time I thought he contacted us was when he called on my birthday. I took a better look at the address labels and saw that he wasn't writing to my mom...he was writing to me. I am an emancipated minor so I am not required to be under anyone's custody, but maybe I should at least visit him and see what happens.

He may not want me but at least I wouldn't have to live with the 'what its '. Now I just need to get a flight from phoenix to forks. I hate to wish for things knowing that there's a very good chance it wont happen, but I hope that this can be my chance to finally have a place where I belong.

After using the computer downstairs I saw the next flight to Seattle was the next morning at 5:50 am. I used my debit card to reserve my seat and then printed my tickets off on the printer behind the desk.

"Excuse me miss", I said to the receptionist. "Is there a shuttle to the airport anytime tomorrow "?

She turned to me with a bored expression on her face. "There is one at midnight, 3 am, 6 am - and every three hours after that ".

To end her sentence she gave a resounding pop of her gum and returned to the people magazine she had been reading. She seemed to hate the fact that she had to speak to anyone, but in her defense it was almost midnight. People tend not to be at there cheeriest at that hour, from working so many night shifts I should know.

I returned to my room to take a shower and get all of my belongings together. I wanted to make sure I had everything was in order. Not just to satisfy my OCD tendencies, but to keep myself busy. By the time all that was finished it was only 1am. I sit at the edge of my bed staring at the clock wondering what else I could do. It was too late to sleep, even if I was able to. I considered calling my dad but I was still in shock from finding the letters. Should I call the police station or his house? I obviously can't call him before 6 am on a Sunday, but should I call him when I land? Should I even call him at all?

I take a few deep breaths and try to prevent the panic attack that is looming over me. By the time I have managed to calm myself down I see that its 2:30. Finally! Now I can get my bag and head downstairs. I was lucky enough to either sell or give everything away except for a few necessary items, so at least I don't have to worry about checking any bags.

I make my way towards the door and as I turn off the light without a second glance at the room and run outside to wait for the shuttle.

"Slowdown! This is not a track field"! I guess that receptionist hasn't improved her mood at all.

"Sorry", I yell back. I waited for 20 minutes before the driver pulled in. It was only me waiting for the shuttle so when he stepped out of the bus and saw that I had no luggage for him to carry he helped me to my sit and began to drive to the airport.

"You must have an early flight miss". He looks at me using the mirror at the front of the shuttle and smiles. I hope everyone will be this kind.

"Yeah, I have a flight to Seattle at 5:50 am".

"That certainly is early. And you're going all by yourself? You have someone waiting for you in Seattle, don't you"? His concern was touching, and since I didn't want to worry him I lied.

"Don't worry about me. I have someone that I'll be seeing soon".

"Who is that"? A week ago I thought the only family I had in the world was my mom, but now...

"My dad. I haven't seen him in awhile". for some reason I began to get the same feeling I had when I was at work. When I saw shadows out of the corners of my eyes and when I walked Helen to her room, only to find her lifeless body laying in her bed.

He had now stopped the bus and was helping me out when he suddenly grabbed my hand. "You're going home now. Don't be afraid of what's to come. You're family will help you".

Everything he said reminded me of what Helen said right before I got the call that my mom died. I also noticed that his eyes were more cloudy than they were when he helped me into the bus. Helen's eyes were like that too but at the time I just assumed it was the cataracts. Now I'm not so sure.

He then shook his head and when he opened his eyes I saw the calming blue iris that I had first seen. "Have fun in Seattle miss"!

As I walk through check ins, security and finally arrive in the terminal I wait for my section of the plane to be called. I wanted to tick off something from my bucket list, so I bought first class tickets instead of coach. Its only a three hour plane ride but with the money I found in my moms locked box.

The whole experience was new to me, like riding in an airplane. Receiving first class treatment was not something I was used to. As I stepped into the airplane and sat in the plush first class seats everything began to fade into the background. I felt like everything around me was going in slow motion but all the while the hours were passing rather quickly.

Breakfast was being served on a silver plate, pillows and blankets were being passed out, and all I could think about was how I was going to handle seeing my dad for the first time. I have yet to decide whether I should call him or not. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get up the nerve and leaving after I even see him. What if I call and he says that I he doesn't want to see me?

In the end I chose to not call him. I would go to forks and at least see his face before I made my decision. I deserve that closure.

I'm now in Seattle. I have stepped off the plane, out of the airport, into a cab and I am on my way to forks. No turning back now.


	4. Refuge and Strength

**Hi everyone! I love the responses that people have given so far...but now I just want more ;)**

**Over 300 people have read this and I would love to hear what thy have to say :)**

**I do not own Twilight**

Chapter 3:

"Thanks. This is the place. Stay here until I know someone's home". I hand the driver a fifty dollar bill and start walking towards my dad's house.

The house is slightly different than it was when I was 12. Who knew that in six years things could change so much. Paint on the house has chipped and everything seems weathered, almost like no one has cared for the house in years. I knock on the door and no one answers. After ringing the doorbell twice and receiving no answer in five minutes it's obvious that no one is home.

I look up the address of the police station on my phone and after giving the cab driver the directions I arrive at the station a few minutes later. After giving him five more dollars I tell him to wait for me to come back and only then would I know if I was done with his help. I knew I should have rented a car.

The police station was small, but for a town this size I guess this is to be expected. There were a few desks around and as I started walking to the receptionist to ask if the chief was in, I catch the end of a conversation between two of the officers. "The chief can't still be at La Push. Usually his fishing trips are done by noon".

"When he and Billy get together they tend to lose track of time. I'll see you tomorrow Mark". The cops part ways, one going to his desk while the other leaves in his cop car.

I feel like this has become some sick scavenger hunt. Why does it have to be this hard? I barely remember Billy Black, but I do remember that he lives in a house close to First Beach. Whenever I came to stay with my dad we always ended up in La push, with him fishing with Billy and me playing with his kids. At least I have a general idea where he is. I don't know how I'm going to convince my driver to continue chauffeuring me around. I hope this is that last stop in this now four hour car ride.

"Can you please take me to First Beach in La Push. I'll give you an extra hundred dollars for driving me around so much". He gives me a smile and tells me not to worry about it. We pass the La Push sign and pull up to the beach. I tell him to go a few more miles, taking the turns that I seem to have remembered after all of these years. We come up to the house, and after I tell the cab to once again wait for my signal to leave I begin walking to the door. I knock three times and pray that someone will answer and finally put an end to this long journey.

No answer. Why does this keep happening. I'm about to ask the driver to take me back to Charlie's house, but then I start to hear some people laughing and I look down the path to the beach to investigate. I see a group of men sitting in a circle and I recognize one of them almost instantly. Billy Black. That has to be him. I tell the driver he can leave and after a see him disappear around the corner I start walking towards the men on the beach.

I see fishing poles surrounding them and a cooler next to an elderly man in a wheelchair. I have a feeling what's in that cooler...eww dead fish! I hear them laughing at something of them had said and when I come into their view the laughing abruptly stops.

"Who are you girl? What do you want"? Most of the men's' faces or passive, but one of them have such angry expressions that I find it hard to even look at their angry eyes. What hurts me the most is that the man in question that seems to exude hatred is Billy Black himself.

"I'm looking for Chief Swan. Do..do you know where he is"?

"Who wants to know"? Ok, Billy is really starting to piss me off!

"It doesn't matter who I am. I just need to see him right now!"

It's obvious that he has no intention of telling me where he is, and at this point I begin to admit to myself how desperate I am to find him.

"Please, I haven't seen him in so long. I know my mom said he didn't want anything to do with me, but she died last week and I found these letters in her things with his address on them. I just need to see him. I need to hear from him myself that he doesn't want me here. He's the only family I have in the world so please! Let me see him! Please!" I haven't cried at all since my mom died. It was so sudden, and with the discovery of the letters I have had something else to focus on so I have been able to put the horrible truth to the back of my mind. But in that moment I realized how important this really was. If my dad turned me away I would have no one.

By the end of my pleading I had starting to cry hysterically. The anger had disappeared from his features and was replaced with pity and sadness, but by this point I was inconsolable. I felt as though a dam had been holding my feelings at bay, and with every word I said a new hole was drilled into it until it was nothing but rubble. I tried to stop my ranting but I couldn't. "Billy please!"

"How do you know my name?" All I see is confusion and obvious discomfort for having to witness a woman crying in front of them.

"Billy! God! How do you not remember me! I'm…"

I hear a car door slam behind me and it's obvious that I know longer have to beg for help finding me father. There he is. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. I know that if I don't start walking towards him now I will probably lose my cool and run in the opposite direction. I try to give myself a pep talk as I find myself getting closer to his squad car, but it falls on theoretical deaf ears.

I became an emancipated teen when I was 15 and tested out of high school to get my GED, all to take care of my mother. I got a job as a nursing assistant to support us. I started college when I was 16, doing things that I'm now embarrassed of to get this far. I have accomplish more in my 18 years than some people have in their entire lives, but I all I feel like is a pathetic little girl who wants her daddy to say he loves her and is proud of her. What will I do if he turns me away? "Please like me!" I sincerely hope the whispered prayer under my breath will help me. Please God help me!

He has hair the same shade as mine with the occasional grey hair, pale skin that is similar to the face I see in the mirror everyday. He has laugh lines that frame his chocolate brown eyes and a mustache and a 5 o'clock shadow. The smile on his face seems to express his love of fishing, which explains the comments made by his fellow police officers. This is the only time I might have to talk to him alone, so I jump at the chance and run towards him. I trip on my way, an inevitable event that happens to me constantly.

In the end I make it to the cruiser just as he is turning to go back to the dock. In fact I almost run into him. He jumps back when he realizes I'm about to barrel into him, and then he looks at me. There is no recognition, only confusion. He looks at me expectantly, but what is he waiting for? Oh yeah, he's probably waiting for me to talk.

"Um...I...Uh" Wow! What an intelligent introduction Bella! " Chief Swan" *Gulp* "I have come a long way to talk to you...Ugh" I have practiced what I was going to say so many times why is this happening? What is happening to me?

"Recently I have wanted to see you for awhile, but considering my previous knowledge of your feelings I would not have interfered in your life. But the discovery of a bundle of letters in my mother's belongings makes me question whether I was wrong all those years ago. I'm hoping that things will change, but now that is all up to you..Umm" Again with the stuttering! It's getting annoying.

As I continue to mentally belittle my sudden speech impediment, I pull out my driver's license and hand it to him. I assume he will need some sort of identification to prove that I am who I say I am. He looks at it, and it looks like he is about to be sick. I should have known he would act like this!

"I realize this is a huge inconvenience, but by your expression I can see that I..was right before...I promise I won't stay….." While I say this he looks up from the license. He has tears in his eyes and he looks at me - like someone looks at a rare piece of art or a miracle happening before your very eyes! His mouth is open and he is taking in huge gulps of breath. His chest is heaving and when I begin to worry about his health, he chokes out a name I never thought that I would hear again.

"Bells. Bella, my God! How.." He never finished his thought as he suddenly wrapped his arms around me. I awkwardly copy his actions, but it ends soon. He grips my shoulders, holding me at arms length and stares at me. It seemed like he was memorizing every feature of my face. Please want me! Please don't turn me away!

"Bella! How did you get here? Is your mother here?" I shouldn't be surprised that he asked about mom. The emotional breakdown that I experienced not too long ago has drained me. I have now reverted back to the logical thinker that I have had to be my entire life.

"She died last week in a car accident".

He is shocked, which is to be expected. To be perfectly honest I never thought about how he might take the news of mom's death. I was too nervous how he would handle receiving me. He recovered rather quickly considering the fact that he was just informed of the demise of a woman he had once been married to. Perhaps there was just too much bad blood between them. Hopefully that does not carry over to me after the novelty of my arrival wares off.

"You need to tell me everything! Let's go home.


	5. The Prodigal Daughter

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy moving into my new place. I've also had a few health issues and I had to be taken to the ER a few days ago, but I'm feeling a lot better and I can't wait to start writing again. Sorry for an grammar or spelling errors.**

Thank you all for following, leaving reviews and adding me to your favorites list! It means a lot. Just remember, all it takes is a click of the mouse to follow..

I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 4:

As we were stepping into the police cruiser we hear someone yelling at us to stay where we were. So far it has been a sort of epic journey just for me to find my father and now it seems the obstacles will continue. Is it really too much to ask for some alone time with the man that I haven't seen for almost half my life.

"What is it Billy? I'm a little busy right now..."

I swear this man is going to be the death of me. I realize that he is my dad's best friend, but can't he mind his own damn business.

"Char..I mean dad, can we please go home. I really need to talk to you".

He looks at me with what I would call a perfectly trained poker face. I guess years on the force would do that to you.

"Yeah sure Bells", I never thought I would hear someone call me that again. "Just wait in the cruiser for me".

"Thanks dad". For just a moment his carefully put together appearance crumbled and I was able to see the emotion that I saw earlier. It makes me want to go home even more.

By the time I get to the car Billy has wheeled himself to where Charlie is standing...wait wheeled! What happened? How much has changed since I've been gone? How much have I missed?

This is obviously going to be a very defining conversation, so I should go over everything I want to share with dad.

1. Gloss over what I have been doing since I last saw him six years ago.

2. Say that I left school early, started college classes and began working as a nursing assistant because I was getting bored in high school.

3. Mom died in a car accident. No extra details needed.

4. Tell him why I came to stay with him. Well, an edited version anyway…

Hopefully the preparation for this conversation will go more swimmingly than the last one I had with Charlie. I mean really...I have never been one to stutter and now it seems I can't get through a sentence without doing so. Maybe if I….

The slam of the car door pulled me out of my train of thought, but for some reason I was afraid to turn my head. I was afraid to see if the anger that Billy had for me would perhaps rub off on Charlie and I would be sent packing as soon as we got home. But my fears were silenced when I felt his hand grab my own. It felt rough and calloused, but at the same time it felt warm. My mother's hands were always so ice cold. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of comfort from another human being. How long has it been since I have felt this safe with someone?

A gentle squeeze of my hands makes me turn in his direction and all I see is love. The warm sensation has now traveled from my hand to my heart and I pray that I will never live without it again.

"I told Billy that I would call him later. I didn't know if you wanted anyone knowing who you were or not". As he is talking we are slowly backing out of our parking stall and heading towards the road leading to Charlie's house. "You remember Billy don't you"?

"It's hard not to remember him Char...uh, dad. He looks exactly the same except for the wheelchair". And the angry expression. God, I wonder who peed in his cheerios. "But he didn't remember me".

Charlie's response surprises me, because even though he is laughing under his breath there is a look of disgust on his face. "That's for sure. He thought that you were looking for me so that you could…*cough*...persuade me to let you get away with a crime you committed".

"Oh my god! Is that why he looked so disgusted with me? Why would he immediately jump to that conclusion"?!

"It's happened before. He assumed that you were arrested for..solicitation". Well, I guess that explains the look of disgust he had. But seriously, he thought I was a prostitute! What the hell!

"Well, that explains a lot".

This conversation was obviously making Charlie uncomfortable. "Yes, well...how have you been kiddo"?

I knew we would get to this. I can't believe with all my preparation I didn't think about an introduction! How stupid could I be!

"When I was 12 we moved to Arizona and mom worked as a waitress. When I was 15 I tested out of high school and started college courses. While I was taking classes I got certified as a nursing assistant and was working with patients at a nursing home. A few weeks ago mom died in a car accident and while I was going through her things I saw the letters that you wrote us. I thought that I could come and visit you".

By this point I notice that we have been parked in front of his house for the last few minutes. It seems like neither of us wanted to disrupt this moment. If we left the neutral zone of the cruiser and walked into the house, we would be assaulted with past memories. There were good memories like when he would carry me around the house and call me his princess. But then there were bad memories, like when my mom had pulled me out door and out of the life I had always known.

"Do you want to come inside? We can get you set up in your old room and maybe we could order pizza"?

He looked so nervous, so uncertain. It strangely made me more at ease knowing that I was not the only one who was scared.

"Yeah, let's do that".

The walk to the house was as awkward as I imagined it would be. But it was nothing compared to stepping into the house, or should I say a time capsule, because nothing had changed since I had last seen the house all those years ago. The kitchen was still painted the tacky yellow color that my mother chose in hope to make the space more cheery. All of my class pictures were on full display. This was especially embarrassing considering I had been a pale, skinny, freckled child until I was 13. Thank god for puberty!

"I don't know if you remember where your room is at Bells, but if you will follow me I can show you".

He made a clumsy motion with his thumb, jerking it towards the stairs until he put his hand down and quickly ran up the stairs. I tried to follow him at the same speed, but as usual I trip while going up the stairs and land on my knees on the top step of the staircase.

"Are you ok Bells"?

"Yeah", I can't help but groan a little as I pull myself up, "I should be ok. Which way it the room again"?

At Least now I know where I get klutziness from.

He opens the door at the end of the hall and again everything is the same. The yellow curtains are covering the window; blocking the non-existent sun from coming into the room. My single bed is still pushed against the wall and the rocking chair that I had when I was a baby is still in the corner. It makes me wonder why he never changed this room into an office or a workout room.

"The bathroom is at the top of the stairs, you already knew that when we passed it".

I can tell he is getting uncomfortable because he is shifting from on foot to the other, but considering the day he's had I suppose this is to be expected.

"My bedroom is on the other end of the hall. I'm gonna go downstairs and order the pizza. You can get set up and come back downstairs, or you can stay here...but you don't have to stay up here. You can sleep or go downstairs and watch tv. Either way, I'll call you when the pizza gets here and you can come downstairs and eat...or you can stay up here...ugh...I'll just go downstairs..uh, bye".

Talk about nervous. I lost track of how many times he said the word "downstairs". I look around the room and all I can think is, 'What do I do now'?

* * *

The rest of the night went a lot easier. When the pizza came we talked about his life in forks, his friends, his job. When it came to me I kept things close to the vest but I was glad when he started asking about my major. That's one aspect in my life that I could talk all about without being worried of saying too much.

"I have an associates degree in criminal justice and I was going to start looking for a position as a 911 operator".

I wish I had a camera so I could capture the pride that shown on his face when I told him I was going into the same field that he was in.

"I can check if we are looking for one at the station. This is great Bells"!

When we looked at the clock and realized in was 1 o'clock in the morning we decided to call it a night.

As we reached the top of the stairs and were about to go to our opposite sides of the hallway, we turned to look at each other and it's like we both came to the realization that we were finally in each others lives.

"I'm glad you're here Bella. I've missed you".

He hugged me again, and it was like he was trying to hold me there for the rest of my life.

"I love you Bella"!

I can't believe this is happening! I'm so happy I can barely breath! In fact, I can feel a sob in the back of my throat and for once I don't fight it. I'm so in the moment I don't care how I might look right now! Thank you God!

"I love you too dad"!

If you have any suggestions just leave a review.


	6. The Light That Shines in the Darkness

I do not own Twilight!

Chapter 5:

I woke up to birds chirping and the sound of men laughing coming from downstairs. I'm shocked to say this is the first time in years that I have not been thrust into consciousness from the nightmares that I have grown accustom to. I assume that meeting my dad has definitely had a positive influence in my life. I hope and pray that it will continue, but I know that is an unrealistic dream. I will always be the broken person I see in the mirror every morning.

The laughter that I heard earlier is now back with full force. I recognize one of the voices as my dad's, but the identities of the others are a mystery to me. I walk as quietly as I can to the bathroom, thankfully not finding any obstacles along the way, to make sure I am presentable. My curiosity is overpowering and I need to find out who is here right now.

I quickly brush my teeth, wash my face and put my hair into a ponytail. My skin is without blemishes, my clothes are covering everything that should be, and after giving the mirror one last glance I make my way down the stairs. I look in the kitchen and see three coffee mugs, but no men in sight. I look out the window and see Charlie talking with Billy Black.

After finding out that Billy thought I was a prostitute I had every intention to avoid him at all costs. My mother was a prostitute and there were many occasions when her pimp would look at pictures of me and ask my mother whether I would be a good whore like her. I was afraid that after he met me I could be forced into that lifestyle. This encouraged me to move out as soon as possible.

Wait a minute, there are three mugs on the table. One for Charlie, one for Billy and one for…

"Dammit! Enough with the walks. Take these guys out"!

Who is that?

A quick peek into the living room confirms my suspicion. Here is the owner of the third mug.

He is handsome that is for sure; with his tanned skin and long shiny black hair. From the looks of him he is on the cusp of manhood, but it is obvious that he will develop into a very large and well muscular body. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, and I have to say he has grown up well.

I want to have a little fun with him so I sneak up behind the chair he's sitting on and start to massage his shoulders. Then I whisper in his ear, "Hey handsome".

He flies out of his chair and on to the floor. When he looks up at me, he looks like his eyes are about to pop out, and I can't stop myself from laughing. After everything that has happened in the last few weeks I needed this comical relief.

"Sorry man, I had to do it". His facial expression has not changed and I find myself rolling on the ground laughing. Finally he seems to relax and laugh along with me.

"Yeah you got me. No offence but who are you"?

"Seriously, why does no one recognize me? I lived here for years. Didn't Charlie tell you who I was"?

He looked confused and almost like he was trying to remember every face that he has ever come across. "He didn't, and I'm sorry but I don't know who you are".

I pick up the picture of a 12 year old me and lift it up so that it is side by side with my face.

"Do you know who I am now"?

I swear, the expressions that he makes will have me in stitches for the rest of my life. His eyes are again popping out of his head and I'm so close to laughing again.

He looks at me with a huge smile, "Bella! You are gor..great! You look great Bella. Now it's your turn. Who am I"?

"How could I ever forget you Jacob? I'll always recognize that face of yours". As I say this I run the back of my hand across his cheek.

All my life I've had men look at me as some sort of object that they can buy or use however they like. When it first started happening I was only 13 years old, and every feeling that came along with it was confusing and scary. When I was 16 I had a better grasp on the relationship between men and women, and I found a man that taught me things that most women double my age have never even heard of.

When I look at Jacob, I see innocence in its purest form, and it's too tempting for me to not take advantage of his inexperience with women. I can't help but feel a little guilty, but it's not like I plan on doing anything about to evasive. I just want to flirt and feel wanted and powerful.

"How have you been Jacob? I gotta say, you're looking pretty great yourself".

My hand moves from his face and I begin to trail my fingers along his arm, eventually ending at his hand and bringing it closer to me. I can hear him swallowing and I know that I'm having an effect on him.

"I'm ok…".

"Oh, I think you're more than ok Jacob. I'm sure you have all the girls running after you. Or at least a girlfriend".

I can see that I'm affecting him. I start massaging his leg and gently squeezing his knee and I know that I'm getting to him when I see him start to squirm.

"No, no girls".

"Really? How old are you Jacob"?

"I'm 15…", his voice breaks while he's telling me his age, "but I'm going to be 16 next week.

"Mmmm...I'm so glad I could be here for your birthday. I think I have an idea of what I can get you. But until then, maybe we can hangout"?

"Yeah totally! We can do whatever you want"! It's obvious what he would want to do, and as awful as it sounds I have no desire to have a relationship with him. As Billy's son, I know that if I start to date him he will just think that I'm the whore he thought I was before. You know what they say, don't shit where you eat.

We hear the door open and footsteps come into the house.

"Stay right here Billy, I want you to see that surprise I was telling you about". I hear him walking upstairs and with him out of the room I feel the need to shock Billy by introducing myself before Dad has the chance.

I do my best to stroll into the kitchen as though I was completely comfortable with my surroundings.

"Hey Billy, it's great to see you again. How are you"?

"I'm ok". He is definitely shocked! That's right Billy, take it all in.

"I just love that I could see you again after all those years. Dad told me you didn't recognize me, but of course I couldn't believe that. You used to be my 'Uncle Billy' after all".

With a deep breath in I could see the regret clear on his face. "Bella...I can't believe it".

"Don't worry, you're not the only one".

Billy was about to say something else, but he was interrupted by Charlie running down the stairs.

"Bella! Where are you"?

When he steps in the kitchen the relief on his face just assures me more that he really wants me here.

"I guess you saw my surprise. Well what do you think Billy? I can't believe she's here. Isn't she beautiful"?

Of course I can't stop the blush that comes to my cheeks.

"She certainly is Charlie. She looks so different..".

I can't help but rub his mistake in his face just a little bit more. "Yeah we'll that's what happens after not seeing someone in so long".

"Well, I'm happy to see you now Bella". I love watching men backing themselves into a corner. "We're having a bonfire to celebrate Jacobs' birthday on friday. Everyone would love to see you again".

"Yeah Bella, you should come. I'll be sure to save you a piece of cake. It'll even be a corner piece with lots of frosting". I've only reconnected with Jacob a few hours ago and I already feel completely comfortable with him. I don't feel that way around men that often.

"Oh well when you put it that way...I would love to".

I look over to my dad and the smile on his face makes any discomfort I may feel at the bonfire worth it. I can tell he's excited!

"Well then it's settled! We'll be at the beach around 7".

I just pray everything goes off without a hitch. Oh Lord, give me strength.

I hope you enjoyed The new chapter :)


End file.
